I got broken up with today.

No, not by The Boy. We're fine.

Remember me saying yesterday about my friend Whoreboy? Well, I decided to just say something, cos it'd been 24 hours, and I was still peeved. I tried to be subtle at first, but he persisted in on being a dick, so I just got straight to the point, harsh. He casually blew it off. Basically said he was an asshole for not sucking up his pride and apologizing, but if he can't even do that why does he try to be my friend? And the reaction was basically "I treat you like shit and never apologize because I don't want you around."

Honestly, it didn't ruin my day, but it hurt. The fact that he was hurting my feelings, knew he was hurting my feelings, and didn't give two flying fucks, but was still too much of a pussy to say things between us just weren't that great in the way of a friendship until he was hurting me that bad.

But now I see with hindsight he's been a dick to me that way the whole time. Couldn't break up with me, had to try to get into my best friends pants. Can't remember him ever saying anything to woo me, romantic or just friendly. A couple times he went out of his way to say something mean to me.

I keep wondering though if I'd accept an apology if it were given.

And I have to reach out real quick. Because I came home and just realized that my little drama and angst that was just described to you is nothing compared to the heartache NYC Watchdog over at apileofdogbones.com is going through. I'm a stranger to this man, but when I heard the news my heart broke and I cried like a two year old. I can only imagine how painful this must be for him and those close to him. If I had money, I would totally buy some graphics to support. As I said in comment, words can't express how sorry I am, and my heart goes out to him and his friends & family.

Today was um ... well ... just a day, really. Yeah, I know, real blog worthy. But it was more than that so I'm gonna get to talking now.

I have midterms next week, but I'm oddly not freaking out. Mostly cos I haven't checked what's gonna be due for my English class yet. Nervous laughter is inserted at about here.

Pardon that realization. But anyway, this Thursday like every Thursday was Lesbian Thursday for my group of friends. But instead we raped the Ginger. By we, I don't include myself, because if I raped the Ginger, my boyfriend would castrate us both. He's possessive.

See, I literally mean, RAPED THIS POOR BOY.

But after that crazy lunch break I went to PE and I think I had a heart attack because I ran around like a retard THAT MUCH. I had to run, skip, run backwards, kick, punch, squat, kneel, jump in jack, all in an hour's time. Fuck. A part of me died, people!

Then I saw the boy tonight and his first reaction to me was, "I have bad news." See, he had this friend. Twenty eight, divorced, three kids that his ex wife was holding over his head, and lacking a decent education. By that, I mean he dropped out of school while still in like middle school. So he started getting tutored by my boy. Last night, this guy killed himself. I didn't ask for any details because I usually just say, "I'm sorry" to things like that and figure that if they want to give me details, they just will. So I don't know what set him off, how he did it, anything like that. I doubt it matters though, really. Point is, boy was miserable and he just had a God awful day because of it. I kind of felt bad cos I didn't really feel like I was doing too much to make him feel better (hey, my presence should be enough dammit, cos I don't understand death that well) but maybe I was just being paranoid and insecure. Who knows?

Also, crazy question: is anybody actually here from my bathroom stall Sharpie ads?