Panic attacks are a son-of-a-bitch. I was just thinking to myself the other day, "I think mine are gone. It must have been a week at least since my last one!" But of course, as punishment, one kicked me in my invisible testicles today. So tomorrow, I'm going to call the doctor's office again and make an appointment.

Which leads me into how much I HATE UC Davis. Best doctors in the United States, the worst fucking desk bitches. "Leave a message for Dr. [Radio Edit]. I want information on my recurring bladder infection, or maybe just have it re-looked at or something, and I'm having panic attacks." "Okay, someone who isn't your doctor is going to call you back in five minutes and demand you go to a Med 7 for a urine test, and I think that since you've only been having attacks for a week they aren't that important." Two weeks later, I've learned that bladder infections, the recurring kind, are really not curable by medication ... it's all about using natural things to keep it bearable (cranberry juice, lots of water, and avoiding added sugars) and being hygienic about the things that cause it to flare (in my case, sex). But the panic attacks, I have no idea what the cause is, if there are dietary changes I should make, if maybe I need a shrink type person, just that the feeling of going insane is a NORMAL SIDE EFFECT. What the fuck, right?

You know it's bad when they have to actually put a sign up: "if you've been waiting for twenty five minutes or longer, please let us know [my handwriting in sharpie under it: BECAUSE WE ARE DIPSHITS WHO HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THE FUCK WE'RE DOING. KTHNXBYE.]"

Okay, enough bitching. Tomorrow will be the first day since I started last semester that I'll be sticking to a schedule. It's pretty sad that I have to program myself like an obsessive compulsive robot in order to get shit done, but hey, such is life. I just lost the game.

Also, my mom's been giving me shit since Sunday about the whole Don Imus being fired thing. It's kind of funny but annoying. Funny in that ... I don't really give a shit anymore. Annoying in that ... Jesus Christ, I don't give a shit anymore, woman!

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I got the host site for my blogtalkradio show today! Now it's just a matter of getting the chick who wanted to be the first guest to talk to me and commit to a day and time. So, keep one's eyes peeled for when I run around nearly naked going WOOHOO!
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On a final note, I have the song from the Loituma Girl flash loop. My friend Elizabeth sent it to me, who I add is Canadian and thinks that my American accent is very cute. It's a shame that bit is all just Finnish gibberish cos I was gonna find the lyrics for that bit, learn it, and sing it on the lightrail for a couple hours while spinning a leek sprig. Ah well

I just had a fight with my mom as to whether or not Don Imus is an asshole who deserved to be fired, so I'm inspired to pitch my two cents at your eyeballs. Yummay.

Are you offended by Don Imus? Well fuck you and shut up because nobody gives a shit what you think anyway. I am so sick of everyone's politically correct bullshit. People need to focus less on the insults being thrown at them and more on the actual fucking problems in the world!

When I go to Lambda, they all wanna bitch about who called them a Faggot and what little kid said something was Gay or Lame instead of saying stupid and I truly don't give a shit. Let's focus more on the important issues, like gay marriage. And this is coming from a woman who has no plans to waste her money on a wedding ceremony ever, and it's still more important to me than how offensive being a bundle of sticks is to you!

Women focus on being called a bitch, slut, whore, easy, loose, when meanwhile abortion is being basically made illegal through the back door, what with there only being two schools that even teach the procedure left in the States! Meanwhile, our teenage girls (yes, this does even happen in a place as "safe" as the US) are at risk of being napped from malls, schools, whatever and sold into prostitution, sometimes even in other countries.

And now this whole "nappy headed ho" comment. My friend sent me a rant today that I'm starting to wish I didn't close the window on, but this man's main gist was that the problems in the black community are internal: the rappers and ghettoians who insist it's all about nigga this and nigga that and becoming a pimp rather than going to school and getting a good education and all that crap. But instead, the extremists that should be working towards working these kinks out, such as Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, are more focused on assholes like Imus. Assholes like Imus who make a joke and suddenly the whole fucking world crumbles in on itself, so that no one has to deflate their own ego and go, "shit son, maybe the problem is ourselves!"

So we focus on these people who aren't really meaning their words, just trying for a laugh cos it's their job, and then we ignore the nut jobs. You know, the guy on MSNBC who says that what we need to do to better humanity is wipe out the entire white race. WITH A STRAIGHT FACE, FOLKS! Which by the way, is more crap. We'll be all better if we wipe out the Whites, or the Blacks, or the Middle Easterners, or the Asians, or the Rednecks, or the Christians, or the Islams, or the hippies. If we just take one thing out of the equation, we'll be all better folks! Generalization is the problem, and God fucking dammit, generalization will be the fucking solution too!

Look, I do think Imus is a dipshit and all that stuff, but one thing we should keep in mind and a good point made by Mr. Fab of Pointless Drivel: this guy does do a SHITLOAD of charity work. He works with autistic kids, and donates money, and does everything he can to help a cause he thinks needs it. And we fire him over three kind of cruel words.

Okay ... I think all the steam has been properly blown out my ears. By the way, this is probably less of me being totally involved in everything that happens in this and more of anger at my mother for being pissed that I had a varying opinion from hers. Anyway, g'nite folks.