An idea of my life.
Melony Louise: So want to hear how socially inept Nessa and I are?
Sam: Sure lol
Melony Louise: I told her I had an idea of making business of cards that said "Hi, you look like you may be an awesome person, here's my: (email, myspace, all messangers)" to hand out to people so I could make friends.
Melony Louise: I said this hoping I'd be mocked.
Melony Louise: Not only does she like the idea, she wants her own set!
Sam: ...
Sam: Dude.
Sam: ....
Sam: Can I have a set too?

So I did nothing today. I had plans to do house work for a little bit of pocket change, but turned into a sobby mess for absolutely no reason, so my mom said to take the day to be emo.

But I really want to thank Nessa for being my friend.

I needed someone yesterday to fill in for me with Blogathon, so I could work out this crap with Mason. She came over and not only did it, but did it for two to three hours longer than either of us expected her to, with little to no complaint.

When I came home, miserable and choking back tears, she accepted that I needed the time to pull myself together before I could say what happened, and when I did tell her the details, she minimally expressed disappointment in him but went on to only talk me up about how much better I could do and what a hot commodity I am. It's the best for me way a friend has ever reacted to my break-up woes, since people I've considered close in the past maintained a "what the fuck ever" stance on the end of my relationships (and my heartbreaks, necessary for the situation or not) except for the one occasion in which an ex brought his girlfriend to my house within a month of our split and nearly got head from her. Then it was a "kick-his-ass-he-hurt-Mel" fest.

Oddly now that I think about it, that's how I met Mason the first time.

This is about Nessa though! And even though I'm not taking her advice on this one, I appreciate her caring enough and seeing me in a good enough light that she could honestly talk me up enough to even consider dating right away (and yes, I did consider it for a good part of last night).

Point is, she's been a really good friend to me in the time I've been "besties" with her, and I think before the last 48 hours I had forgotten that, cos so much has been going on with her and her life that her patience runs a little dry at times. But, to point, thank you so much Nessa for being good to me and in close range when I need you (and putting up with me when I need to be put up with)! <3

Happy 100th here at MLIBP!

My hair is now purple in celebration of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. The Boy will kill me, but it will be worth it.

I will be dressing up, so I may take a picture of my costume before I go to wait. Am quite excited.

Now, time to pimp out my Blogathon effort. URL to the blog itself is melloublogathon.blogger.com. I'm blogging for Planned Parenthood. You can leave me a pledge here.

What shall my theme be? I do not know yet, maybe I won't even have one. But I'm still freaking excited.

And I almost forgot, tonight is the last night my friend Sam is in town. She is off to Kentucky to live with her gaia girlfriend.

...I'm not sure I could make this shit up if I wanted to.

But I went with her and some of her friends to get Mongolian BBQ. The food was kind of eh, but I had a good time with the folks, they were some crazy nerds. Um, yep. I played Neopets all day, so I really have nothing to talk about.

Things that made tonight awkward.

Six of us at a table at TGIFriday's. First one's leaving for Oregon in the morning, the next one had a big fat crush on me about a year ago, next is his girlfriend and The Boy's exgirlfriend with her adorable few month old baby (who for Chrissake isn't The Boy's!), then me, then the black guy whose nice enough but his very presence is resulting in some of the shittiest service I ever had, then a deaf girl I have no way of communicating with.

I rarely have issues with jealousy, but when I do, I can't control what I'm thinking. Mixed with bad microwaved food, I barely ate. I got a fifteen dollar bill tonight for shitty food, shitty service, and Ryan's salad. Assholes.

And homework is on my mind a lot. It's painful.

So today it was me, The Boy, Nessa, The Ginger, and Robert, who I'm pretty sure I haven't talked about here. By the time we got to actually playing Dungeons and Dragons, we decided not to introduce me cos I'd just be leaving anyway. Ah well, I just hope Nessa likes it (she's still off losing her D&D virginity) because I think as a group we have a pretty good chemistry going, if you know what I mean.

Actually, that's all I really did today. It's more boring written than it is in action.

But my cousin Lisa's going to be coming up tomorrow. So I get to wake up at five am (that's in six and a half hours) and drive down to Freedom, California (I think that's the Santa Cruz area) and pick her up, and then drive back up. Oh well, at least I'll get to see Lisa! Her and I aren't very close, mostly cos I think we're both shy, but I'd like to be at least closer. So I think how things are gonna go is that we're just gonna go everywhere in Rancho ... which means that two days is just long enough to fit everything, maybe even in fact leave some dead air space.

Okay, well I need sleep and my stomach's acting super funny, so gnite folks!

So I guess the term "Internet Blog Project" might be a little bit more applicable to what I'm doing now.

To explain, I have expanded myself over several sites, and will probably end up on more by the time I'm back in school (June 11th). So this is my site for talking about my life; my Tumblr is for quotes, conversations, and websites; my Vox is for QotDs, Vox Hunts, and discussions of books, movies, shows, and CDs; my finetune is my attempt to both expand my musical taste and share it with others; and my twitter is for all those little updates in between.

Then, I'm hoping to get back to 43things which would be for my eternal quest to improve on myself (or just try a couple kinky sex acts). In other words ... NOW is the time to throw your latest internet trend at me to see if I'm interested! I also feel a little behind because I just jumped on the Technorati boat.

To quote my Tumblr (like Katili did), "[Melony Louise: more determined to be a world-famous internet whore than j00.] "

Okay, so back to life.

I went to the doctor today for my panic attacks (finally). I had a small scare because he asked at random, "does your family have a history of heart disease?" I was like, "oh my God, I'm the start of a history of heart disease in my family, aren't I!?" But then he went back to normal discussion of panic attacks. I'm supposed to get a phone call from The Mind Institution in Downtown Sacramento, and if I don't by Monday, I'm to call them.

And I realized at the doctor that I am far too optimistic. To the point that yes, I realized that there have been problems, but it never clicked how much is happening to me at once. Coming up in less than six months is my 18th birthday. Here in a couple weeks I go to summer school. My dad's coping with alcoholism. My mom fights with him a lot for it. The Boy has heart problems, and depression related to it. And I'm sure that if you didn't see my rant about Stacy, you will soon.

It's uncharacteristic of me, almost. I can think back to previous points in my life where, when things got just a little rough, I was ready to freak and bitch and moan. But you know what it is? I've always had a good, tight knit, happy family, even with the problems. But now I have friends [and a boy] that make me feel the same way. Where it used to bother me that I didn't have many people in my life, it doesn't any more, because the relationships are of quality so I don't need the quantity.

This is all nice, until you realize that it's allowing me to not deal with problems and let them manifest into ... attacks. It's very strange, how not even being happy makes me truly happy.

A friend of mine did something stupid, I don't know what yet and probably won't know for several days. I think he tried to run away, though he might have just been looking to get laid or something retardedly him-like like that. I'm kind of annoyed because we were supposed to hang out today so I'm like WHY COULDN'T YOU PUT OFF DOING THE STUPID THING UNTIL TOMORROW YOU DOUCHE!

I played DDR for what was basically the first time last night. My heel's pretty banged up thanks to those shitty metal corners, and once I started feeling really good at it I did nearly fall off the machine and make a complete douche of myself. But I'm getting pretty good at it, which is rad.

Saw one of my friends for the first time in a month and a half last night. She had a new boy. He was nice enough, but something about him was either entirely too innocent or just ... off. Can't complain too much though, he did buy my cover to get into the bowling rink so we could play DDR after all.

A really weird, cute, perverted, and creepy song is "Little Kitty Mine". Which my friend and I played to like three or four times last night. I have no clue if that's on normal DDR machines or just the rip-off one we played on, but yeah.

Okay, I have to do like a bunch of stuff now so I can go back over to the boy's. He was sad about stuff that I can't make him feel better about, it kind of under minds my powers as a woman and makes me just want to get back like right this instant.

I may not post until after Tuesday, so in case I don't, have a good weekend!